Winter is still upon us, the stresses of work
have returned, and Christmas has long since passed. Nevertheless I see it as my
duty to entertain you with my Christmas Brew Review, however belated.
Having said that, my three “carefully
selected” Beers of choice took the form of a last minute Christmas Eve purchase
from Tesco, approximately one hour before setting off down south to the
in-laws. Due to this fact, none can be considered Craft, but then again Christmas
is a time for tradition and the dearth of creativity.
So without
further ado:
3) Rocking Rudolph
This was my
first Beer on Christmas Day for the obvious fact that I wanted to get the worst out
of the way. You’d be surprised, but the reason behind this was not because it’s
a Greene King brand (hiding behind Hardy & Hanson), known for its
watered-down old man ales and mutating IPA into a weak English Bitter, but
actually due to its horrendously tacky and gimmicky
Rudolph-come-Elvis-impersonator label.
When poured
it takes the appearance of a thick, rich, dark brown bodied ale with
a satisfying bronzed Duvel-esque head. To me, the aroma had nothing much
to it but the slight sweet odour of roasted barley. The taste itself wasn’t so
much anti-climactic as it was expected; a sweet flavour of pale malt associated
with Samuel Adams with a bitter roasted finish.
I did
notice that Rocking Rudolphski was on tap at one of my many locals and
ended up ordering a couple of pints during the Spurs-United game. Like United’s
performance, it was weak, bitter and failed to entertain.
However,
all in all, nothing particularly special nor Christmassy about
it: 3/10
2) Yule
Love It
I've got to be honest, considering Thwaites has been clawing away at UK ale market
share for the best part of two centuries, I didn't hold much hope for its tritely punned Christmas Brew. The
labelling, although charming, promises “A Magically Festive Brew”, so it didn't
help much that its fizzy amber appearance looks identical to Fosters.
Meanwhile, the nose itself was limited to extremely marginal sweetness owed to
its small quantity of biscuit malt. Then
the taste: tame caramel, barely noticeable on the tip of my tongue.
However, and it's a big fuck off however, its
forced carbonated nature illuminated my tastebuds by enhancing its floral-citrus
aftertaste - very similar to the aftertaste of a Punk IPA. Its only saviour,
but insufficient as a Yuletide gift.
Surprisingly drinkable but overall fairly
mediocre: 5/10
1)
Christmas Ale
Shepherd Neame are another brewer who fall into that negligent category
of "traditional real ale" manufacturers, so once again I was
expecting something disappointing. Nevertheless, their classy labelling and 7%
promise did peak my intrigue.
From the
moment it started frothing in my glass in its golden-brown form, the aroma of
Christmas pudding, ginger bread and forest fruit flooded my nostrils - and they
welcomed it. Finally, a Beer I can look forward to tasting on Christmas Day!
And it didn't disappoint. The taste of festive
spices and brandy soaked pudding dance tentatively on the tip of your tongue
like an Elvish Geisha. It has an unfortunate hopless finish which greets you with
a shallow aftertaste, but it wasn’t enough to put me off.
A warming wintery Christmas Ale I’d be happy
to buy next December: 6.5/10
So that's my Festive Beer review, I hop you enjoyed it (it can't be Christmas without a horrifying pun).
Interesting, seasonal observations! I particularly enjoyed your opinions with regard to the packaging design but were you the desired target audience for all three of these beers? How were they positioned on shelf, what were the price differentiators and was there any supporting POS promotion? You may well have appreciated the 'classy labelling' of the Christmas Ale but something tells me that Rocking Rudolph, particularly if the price was the lowest, would have been your festive beer of choice when you were 16! I'm looking forward to your Easter Brew Review already - plenty of pun hopportunities to enjoy!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, let me compliment you triple-pun of "hopportunities" - very much appreciated!
ReplyDeleteI see what you mean, but are you implying that Rocking Rudolph may have been targeting under-18's? In terms of target market, my age group (mid-twenties) and Craft sway definitely does not make me the target audience, however as mentioned, Christmas brews need to be particularly trite in their branding whilst striking a balance with tradition and class. By reducing the labelling to juvenile tacky nonsense, I can think of no >18 markets it could target.
There was very little difference in regards to price (part of a 4 for £6 deal), while POS promotion was limited to having Rocking Rudolph in the Christmas section at the front of the store - probably in an effort to reverse the effect of non-existent sales!
Thanks for the comment!